To My Warfighters...

To all my Warfighters,
Stand the fuck down. Do not do it. I say again, stand the fuck down. Spit out the pills, put down the blade, unload the weapon, take the keys out the ignition, take the noose from around your neck. Do not fucking do it. You did not survive that shit over there only to be defeated back here.
I don’t care if you’ve never seen my face. I don’t care if we’ve never shared a brew. I don’t care if we’ve never bummed a cig from each other. The shit we did, the shit we saw, the shit we endured, that makes us family. I don’t care about the “family” you come from, THIS family leaves no one behind. It doesn’t matter if we have to carry your ass the rest of the way, that is what we do. We take care of our own. But you have to let us.
You have to be willing to let us speak for you when you have no voice. To lift you up when you cannot see through the pain and anger and guilt. To pick you up when you cannot walk. You have to be willing to reach out to us, your family, when you falter. You have to be willing to trust us that it is not the end and that we will get each other through to the other side. You don’t even have to be strong. All you have to do is make a phone call, send a text, bang on a door, throw a rock through a window if you have to. But let someone know. We will do the rest.
We’re a dirty, uncivilized, rowdy, alcohol infused, crazy ass family. But we are a family. Each one of you that takes his own life leaves a hole in this family that all we survivors feel. I want to be mad at you, but I can’t. I want to be rip-roaring, hell-shaking, earth-shattering righteously pissed at you. But I can’t. I can’t because I have been there. Some days, I am still there. I’ve downed that bottle of pills. I’ve sliced through the skin and the veins. I’ve driven, like a bat out of hell, down the highway, hoping to lose control and smash head-first into a barrier. I’ve wanted it all to end. I’ve wanted to be free of the pain, the anger, the guilt, the remorse, the depression, the blackness, the nothingness.
I don’t have all the answers. None of us do. But I do know that taking your life is NOT the answer. That ain’t the one you want. I can’t call you selfish, because unless they have been there and done that, no one can know the sheer weight of what we endure. I cannot fault you for just wanting it all to go away. But I can ask you, I can plead with you, do not do it this way.
Please, Warfighters, brothers. Please let us put that 360 security around you. Let us protect you from the demons, even when the demon you fight is your own self. “I will never leave a fallen comrade. I will never accept defeat.” Warfighters, brothers, we took an oath, an oath that remains valid even after we step off the field.
Please, I am begging you, stand the fuck down. Let us have your six.

Your brother,
Nevermore-1