Get Over Yourself

Hey, you! Yes, YOU! I have something to tell you. I'm going to share with you the greatest piece of advice I've ever been given.

Get over yourself.

That's right. Get over yourself. Let it go. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be your own friend. Congratulate yourself. Challenge yourself. Hold yourself accountable for your actions and words. Stop holding your own failures and flaws over your head. Learn from your mistakes and let yourself move on.

In fact, you're the only one that can release you from the grip of your past and your mistakes. Your best friend can't. Your significant other can't. Your family can't. No one but you can do that. You have to be the one to see it, acknowledge it, accept it, and release it. It's your life. No self help book, no motivational speaker, no pastor, no shrink, no bartender can fix your life. Only you can. Sure, any one of those might influence and/or guide you, but the ultimate choice to let go of your past, embrace the present, and look toward the future can only be made by you. YOU are the deciding factor in how your life plays out. You can be so stuck on your past that you never learn to do it right, or you can take those lessons and move confidently forward.

We all have regrets. We all made serious mistakes. Me, I never wanted to do anything other than serve in the military. And I did do that. But I screwed it up. I was quite young and I hadn't yet learned to make peace with my past or my mistakes. So I kept making them. I was not a horrible soldier. In fact, I was quite good at being a soldier. It was my personal life that messed it all up. Yes, I wish that I could go back and fix it all. I could have gone all the way to the top. I could have been SgtMaj of the Army or some shit. But I let myself get in my own way. Coincidentally, it was my Platoon Sergeant,  that told me I needed to get over myself. And he was right. So, despite the fact that I messed it up back then, with those words, I was able to learn from my mistakes. I cannot change the past, and I miss that uniform every single day. I have never felt more secure in my identity than when I wore it. However, with those three simple words, I have been able to carry those lessons with me to this day. I may not be able to change the past, but I can ensure that I set the tone for my future.

I could do what many people do, and stay mired in the bogs of failure and regret. I could let my failure in the Army dictate failure for my future. I see a lot of guys that do. But I refuse to. It would be so very easy, and I'd have a built in excuse, an ever present crutch. I am often tempted to. But then I look at my son's pictures and I remember that he is and will be watching me, and I remember my PSG's words, 8 years ago in the desert Iraqi night, and I remind myself that I have to get over myself.

So you, yes, YOU. Get over yourself. It's not to be mean. It's not to be uncaring. It's simply to be honest. You are getting in your own way. You are the obstacle to your own happiness, success, etc. Let it go. Learn. Improve. Because win or lose, fail or succeed, the sun is still going to rise and set the next day and the earth will keep on spinning. What matters is if you spin with it. In order to truly know yourself and be at peace with yourself, you must first get over yourself.