Set The Course

Nothing can destroy you. Nothing. There's not damn thing on this earth that has the power to destroy you. The only thing that makes it possible is YOU. Yes, you. Your parents can't. Your significant other can't. Your environment can't. No disease can. No injury, no disability can. You are the author of your life. Nothing can tell your story but you. You possess the ultimate authority and control over what tears you down and what builds you up.

We see and hear references to it every day. "This is destroying my life." "This is tearing me up." "This is ruining my life." Blame is a very ambiguous and dangerous weapon. It is like a double bladed sword that wounds you deeper than it does your foe. First, when you place blame, you are effectively giving that person/object/situation power and control over you, and admitting as much. Second, and just as important, you are removing all responsibility from yourself. You are removing the authority and power of your own perception, your own thought process, and your own response from the equation. You are telling Life, and everyone else, "I am powerless against you." Guess what? YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS.

Whether by Fate, luck, Destiny, God, or whatever you believe in, you are endowed-from birth- with the power and authority to decide your own course. You are given free choice and willpower. USE IT. You have the inherent power to choose how to react or respond to any given situation.

I have seen it time and again, testaments to the strength of human willpower and choice. I have seen men lose limbs and fight and struggle and persevere to relearn to walk or hold a cup. I have seen men with 75% burns over their body fight to regain their lives. I have seen cancer patients, sometimes children, fight to make the best of their lives. I have seen those, mired so far down in the depths of darkness and despair you could not imagine, rise from the ashes of their own nuclear situations and regain control of their lives, going on to inspire thousands. Nothing is impossible. There is not a single thing any of us can experience that hasn't been experienced and overcome before. In no way does that minimize the impact of whatever any of us may endure. It simply challenges the idea that we "can't," it stands against the blame games, the excuses, and the notion that we can be destroyed by our circumstances.

Humanity is the single most stubborn entity on the planet, for better and for worse. The indomitability of the human psyche, the human spirit, has always been our most redeeming feature. When you say that something is "destroying" you or "ruining your life" or any derivative of that nature, you essentially disable your strongest weapon against adversity. You defeat yourself before you've even given yourself the chance to fight. You don't step in the ring and automatically knock yourself out. You don't take a test and automatically fail yourself. So why do you do that in life?

People do things, situations happen. That's life. SHIT HAPPENS. A lot of it, we cannot control. The one thing we always have absolute control over, however, is how we perceive it and how we respond to it. Every single bit of that happens in our minds. Your mind is your greatest ally and your biggest weakness. Like any part of your body, your mind must be exercised, strengthened, and nurtured. I didn't say babied, or pandered to, or coddled. That makes your mind weak. In order to handle the numerous stressors of life, you must have a strong mind, and only you can make it that way. Just like no one can lift weights and make you strong, or run and improve your endurance, no one else can strengthen your mind. I am not talking about clinical disorders, chemical imbalances, or anything of that nature, because truthfully, the majority of the shit we go through has nothing to do with that. Even then, however, you still have a choice. I have seen kids and adults with Down Syndrome or Autism, Bi-polar disorder, PTSD, etc., make conscious choices not to let their situations control their lives. No matter what comes your way, YOU have the power to direct your course.

Sometimes, when you fight, you lose the bout. That doesn't mean you are destroyed or ruined. It just means you got beat. We all lose bouts multiple times through the course of our lives. But when you get beat, you get back up, get back to training, learn where you need to improve, condition yourself, and get back in the ring. You are not destroyed until you refuse to get up after being knocked down, until you refuse to even get back in the ring. Then, you are destroyed, but only because you chose to be so. Letting your fear, insecurity, and doubt prevent you from advancing, that is a conscious choice, and that is the only way you can ever be destroyed or ruined.

In 1875, William Earnest Henley wrote:
"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."

Whether it be PTSD, cancer, another terminal illness, depression, drugs, alcoholism, or any of the million plus things that are thrown your way, you have the absolute power to decide how to face it. Throughout the course of your life, you will be bloodied. You will be bludgeoned by chance. You will experience darkness, despair, and fear. However, as Henley said, YOU are the master of your fate. YOU are the captain of your soul. Strengthen your mind and set the course of your life, and all other things, despite how menacing they may be, will have no other option but to follow.